Thursday, May 20, 2010

Open House Meltdown

Tuesday night was Open House at the boys' school. The boys, especially Vinnie, had really been looking forward to it. And by a pure stroke of luck, no one had a practice or game scheduled. What could be better?!We decided to go youngest to oldest, so started in Vinnie's kinder class. While checking out all his work and art I found out that the big class pajama party was the previous Friday evening, not this coming Friday like I thought. My heart sank. I noticed the reminder in his back pack on Monday morning, not realizing it had been in there since the previous week. I was then also told I had already missed the deadline to let the principal know any requests for the upcoming year (we are not allowed to request teachers, but you can let them know any personality quirks about your kid that will help them pick a good fit). I was nearly in tears and began feeling panicky. We then moved on to Joey's second grade class.

While looking around Joey's class I noticed their class book on display. I asked one of the mom's if she knew when we would be getting our copies of it. "We got them a couple of weeks ago," she said. A couple of weeks ago??! Did I forget to turn in the order form? Did I give it to Joey and did he forget? When I asked Joey he said he did have the book, but wasn't sure what he did with it. Two days later I still don't know what happened to his book.

We moved on to Zach's fifth grade class. Thankfully the hour was almost up and his class was a lot emptier than Joey's. There was a lot of cool stuff to see, including a power point report that he made with the state report he (we) had done earlier. Unfortunately by this point Christopher was tired and generally being a pain in the ass, making it difficult to really focus on what Zach was showing us. Also, I was feeling like I was having a full blown panic attack, wondering what else I had missed or forgotten to do. It was obvious to Zach who was clearly hurt by what he perceived as our lack of interest.

We had promised the kids ice cream so we headed over to Baskin-Robbins. On the way I burst in to tears. Loud, sobbing tears. Peter looked at me like I was crazy, and I just completely fell apart. I ALWAYS feel like I am two steps behind. Always the one turning in the permission slip in late, doing the project the night before it is due, forgetting it is crazy hair day. Last year we even missed a couple of birthday parties because I never even found the invites until the party had passed. We even had a "system" this year. The kids put their papers in each of their slots, then we look through them.

The problem? They don't always empty their papers, and we did not look enough. I am tired. By the time we get home from work/practice/the game I am wiped. It is all I can do to get through dinner and clean up. I just don't have it in me to then start looking through backpacks and signing papers.

And school projects? We have 2 big ones due in the next couple of days that we have barely made a dent in. Between sports, Joey's communion this year, and projects that were due earlier I just haven't had time to get these ones going.

People think I have it all together. They comment on all I do--work, run, make fun cupcakes, blog. "How do you do it?" they ask. Terribly, it seems. I feel like an imposter. It might look like I have it together, but I don't. Everything done last minute, half fast, or completely overlooked. And my house? Don't even get me started on that. Total disaster, all the time. Where is the time to just kick back a play a game with the kids? What can I do different next school year? All I know is that I can't keep going on like this.

And to top it all off? I suddenly have gray hair. I am sure there is a direct correlation between the number of school projects this year and the amount of gray hair I am now sporting.

Now I am off to work on the Joey's ancestor report, Zach's science project on catapults, change the sheets Joey puked in last night, wash Zachary's pants for his baseball game tonight and plan the 40 cupcakes I need to make for the baseball party this weekend.

Just 10 more days of school...


Anonymous said...

Oh dear, you are certainly feeling overwhelmed. Have you thought of asking Peter for some help with school projects. Oh, nevermind I suddenly remembered his state report LOL!

Dr. Greg said...

Too funny. But you know what? That's some beautiful artwork you have there -- especially the flower painting. When you're feeling as though you're drowning and can't keep up, twalk up to that painting, take a deep breath in and I bet you can smell the sweetness that your boys bring to your life.
As for the cupcakes, I think they are on sale at Safeway.

Anonymous said...

and I don't even have a business to run....OMG I feel your pain, and all I can say is you are doing a great job!!! Hang in there, and when the going gets rough, come to the Flocchini's for a glass of wine with me. We will wipe eachothers tears;-)

Sheila H said...

Hey Michelle, All I can say is that I totally relate. Thanks for reminding me that I am not alone!

cardiogirl said...

The funny thing is that I would guess almost every mother out there feels the same way. That she's not as organized or involved as she feels she should be.

I feel the same way and I don't do half the things you do. However, I would guess that your kids think you're the best whether they went to that birthday party or not.

And like Dr. Greg said, once in a while store bought cupcakes are pretty tasty.

Hey can the nanny going through the backpacks and put all of the papers in each kid's bin every day? Then you'd have an opportunity to look through the paperwork instead of having to track down the backpack and then the folder.

Sending peace-filled vibes your way.

Anonymous said...

Michelle - I too thought YOU HAD IT ALL TOGETHER! And, you know what? You DO! With all you have going on, it is no wonder some thing will fall through the cracks. It happens! When you said in your BLOG about a meltdown, I thought, you were talking about your little one! No, it was YOU and I just had to giggle! We all feel this way. You have a life beyond crazy busy with 4 children, a demanding practice and should I say it "Pete!" Just kidding Pete - we love you! LOL! I feel the EXACT same way nearly everyday! And, right now, neither of my children want to do a damn thing so I am nagging and nagging...saying "10 more days just get the crap DONE!"

You are awesome! Don't forget it! I will give you al little HIGH FIVE the next time I see you to remind you that YOU ROCK!

Katie said...

I agree with card girl...I think every mom feels overwhelmed and like they don't have it together from time to time. Even moms who do much less than you do. You definitely do have it together, and if a few parties or permission forms slip through the cracks, well that's small beans in the big picture. And yes, your baked goods are gorgeous, but when things are just nuts the bakery section of the super market works too. Hang in there girl! You're AWESOME!

Joanne said...

Michele, Your blog brought me to tears!!! Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are hands down one of the best mothers on this earth and I know that Pete and the boys know it. I can't imagine doing half of what you do, and believe me, you do it beautifully. Just wait; it will get easier and you will all have the best memories. You are loved and so very special. Don't ever forget that.

Anonymous said...

Michelle - It is nice to know that we are ALL human!! The projects in this house get done the night before most of the time (some are getting finished that morning!), I didn't even make it to the boys' Open House (I don't think running through after it is closed counts!) And I also didn't turn the form into the principal. I don't think the forms are going to matter too much, don't worry about them. As for the grey hair, have you seen mine and I only have TWO BOYS!!!!! I will come and have a glass of wine with you at the Flocchini's ;o)